Youre the enemy

[Shervik]

King Koopa (Super Mario Bros.)

So, imagine creating a big empire, make them fat stacks and have castle in every province. Now all you need is a girl, to share all this wealth with, take her on vacations to all these castles. You know you don't want a gold digger, so it has to be a royalty. You try your best but since youre a turtle you have limited options. 

So you finally get a princess to come to your biggest castle, and things get heated. She's smiling, laughs at your jokes (or at your face?) and then you tell her that this relationship can go a step further. She agrees, and suddenly your head is in the sky. Finally, somebody for you.

Elsewhere, some bumbling toadstools are looking for their princess and gets lost in your other castles. They get met with hostility because they are trespassing on your property. They make a conspiracy that you kidnapped their princess. A good for nothing plumber suddenly goes around starts massacring your people. Of course you get mad at the guy when he shows up at your doorstep. You spit fire to try to kill this maniac who has murdered your brothers in the other castles and thousands of your people. This fat guy jumps on your head, and that crack you hear ain't just your neck cracking, it's your dreams being crushed. 

Now this motherfucker runs off with the love of your life, and you just melt in your lava pool and you regret the day you wanted lava heating in your castles.

[WeaponTheory]

still love the "and that crack you hear ain't just your neck cracking, it's your dreams being crushed" bit

[Shervik]

(11-24-2016, 02:04 PM)WeaponTheory Wrote:

still love the "and that crack you hear ain't just your neck cracking, it's your dreams being crushed" bit

i would make it funnier if i made a vid about it