01-28-2016, 01:09 PM
I had a pretty rough dream. I dreamt that I was back in what seemed most like a junior high. It was really big. A lot of people I used to know were there, including old friends and ex-girlfriends.
(weird part) In one part of the dream, a teacher asked me to deliver a note to someone. I did not fully understand the name, so I took it to my current teacher. The teacher got confused. The original teacher was there and I explained to him that I was not sure who to deliver the note to and that I was new. He said the name again, but I already forgot it, and pointed me in the right direction. It was pretty far, but still part of the junior high…next to the ocean… I eventually got to the guy that needed the note. I can’t recall too well how the conversation went, but somehow I ended up giving the guy something that helped him transform into a giant bird to transport stuff.
Eventually we were in some assembly. When the assembly ended (I honestly can’t recall what it was about), I’m not sure if school was out or we were off to lunch. Either way, we were outside of the school. For some reason I saw my ex get into a van with one of her friends from a long time ago and other people I think I knew. I remember really wishing I could talk to her at that moment. I think in my dream we were still exs, so the way we broke up was probably still true so I couldn’t talk to her. I think in my dream I also knew she had a bf.
I can’t recall the order of the dream anymore, but I recall two other things:
I was sleeping in what I think was an old friend's home/apartment. I had two fans on for some reason, I think it was hot. I don’t remember fully. It also felt like I was back in my brother-in-law’s condo like last year where I used to live.
I was hanging out in front of the school late at night. I was going to talk to some random basketball player guy about how I wanted to talk to my ex earlier, but for whatever reason I ended up bringing up the fact that it was 3 AM. This made the guy freak out and the rest of the team was talking about how practice never started and that there’s no way to get home. I ended up just walking home. In my dream, the junior high was a little far from my parent’s home, but it was still a reasonable distance to walk.
--
(real life stuff) I woke up and had a strong but strange feeling of regret. I decided to write down what happened in the dream because at the time it seemed very important. After writing it, I think it was just another stupid dream, but it definitely impacted me and is making me rethink what I’ve done with most of my life. I am still filled with regret for things that happened almost 6 years ago, and I just can’t get over them. Everyone else has moved on, gotten married, had kids, or at least gotten their own place, but I’m back to living with my parents. I could move out at any time, but my job security makes me feel uncomfortable in doing so. Sometimes I wonder if I should move out anyways, and that maybe I’m just using my job as an excuse not to live alone. Regardless, that feeling is also reoccurring in my life now.
The strong desire to talk to my ex is real. I don’t fully understand why I want to do. I feel like it is probably for closure. Clearly I need it more than her since she moved on immediately with someone else, who seems to have met her thanks to me, ironically, but for some reason I feel like I need to talk. The idea is not getting back together, I don’t think it would work out, but rather just talking and at least repairing the friendship. I feel like I made a mistake in allowing a 4-year relationship be tossed to the side like it didn’t matter, when it clearly had a strong impact in my life.
Anyways, I realized I don't really have any friends after this dream since I had no one to talk to about it. So I'm posting it here. I appreciate anyone's thoughts on it. It doesn't seem like much after writing it, but the dream really fucked me up when I woke up... and I'm still feeling weird about it hours later.
(weird part) In one part of the dream, a teacher asked me to deliver a note to someone. I did not fully understand the name, so I took it to my current teacher. The teacher got confused. The original teacher was there and I explained to him that I was not sure who to deliver the note to and that I was new. He said the name again, but I already forgot it, and pointed me in the right direction. It was pretty far, but still part of the junior high…next to the ocean… I eventually got to the guy that needed the note. I can’t recall too well how the conversation went, but somehow I ended up giving the guy something that helped him transform into a giant bird to transport stuff.
Eventually we were in some assembly. When the assembly ended (I honestly can’t recall what it was about), I’m not sure if school was out or we were off to lunch. Either way, we were outside of the school. For some reason I saw my ex get into a van with one of her friends from a long time ago and other people I think I knew. I remember really wishing I could talk to her at that moment. I think in my dream we were still exs, so the way we broke up was probably still true so I couldn’t talk to her. I think in my dream I also knew she had a bf.
I can’t recall the order of the dream anymore, but I recall two other things:
I was sleeping in what I think was an old friend's home/apartment. I had two fans on for some reason, I think it was hot. I don’t remember fully. It also felt like I was back in my brother-in-law’s condo like last year where I used to live.
I was hanging out in front of the school late at night. I was going to talk to some random basketball player guy about how I wanted to talk to my ex earlier, but for whatever reason I ended up bringing up the fact that it was 3 AM. This made the guy freak out and the rest of the team was talking about how practice never started and that there’s no way to get home. I ended up just walking home. In my dream, the junior high was a little far from my parent’s home, but it was still a reasonable distance to walk.
--
(real life stuff) I woke up and had a strong but strange feeling of regret. I decided to write down what happened in the dream because at the time it seemed very important. After writing it, I think it was just another stupid dream, but it definitely impacted me and is making me rethink what I’ve done with most of my life. I am still filled with regret for things that happened almost 6 years ago, and I just can’t get over them. Everyone else has moved on, gotten married, had kids, or at least gotten their own place, but I’m back to living with my parents. I could move out at any time, but my job security makes me feel uncomfortable in doing so. Sometimes I wonder if I should move out anyways, and that maybe I’m just using my job as an excuse not to live alone. Regardless, that feeling is also reoccurring in my life now.
The strong desire to talk to my ex is real. I don’t fully understand why I want to do. I feel like it is probably for closure. Clearly I need it more than her since she moved on immediately with someone else, who seems to have met her thanks to me, ironically, but for some reason I feel like I need to talk. The idea is not getting back together, I don’t think it would work out, but rather just talking and at least repairing the friendship. I feel like I made a mistake in allowing a 4-year relationship be tossed to the side like it didn’t matter, when it clearly had a strong impact in my life.
Anyways, I realized I don't really have any friends after this dream since I had no one to talk to about it. So I'm posting it here. I appreciate anyone's thoughts on it. It doesn't seem like much after writing it, but the dream really fucked me up when I woke up... and I'm still feeling weird about it hours later.
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