Over the years I have noticed that my family is becoming increasingly dispicable. Funny how as a kid you think everything is right and when you hit being a teenager, you notice it's not. After my sister died, that's basically when I start noticing something wrong. Dad was getting sicker due to his health issues, fine, so we didn't see my aunt's family much, but she could have came and visited. Then grandma was gonna die and my aunt took her off life support, killing my grandma who couldn't breathe (she smoked her entire life). Then the rest of my family seemed to branch out more. My brother prefers hanging out with my aunt and he hasn't seen either me or mom in years and never bothered to visit us when Dad passed away. My other aunt in Canada doesn't even RESPOND to my requests on Facebook even when I asked my aunt if she can tell her sister I'm their brother's daughter. My uncles (Mom's side) didn't reach out much either; one did and we visited him but I don't like him too much. And my other brother moved out of state and hates me, mom, and my stepdad cause we kicked him out (for a good reason too, he was trying to move in his 6 member family into an apartment that the landlord only accepts two families for the size of four people total).
My family is really rude. I have anxiety and depression disorders that are real bad and I am seeing a therapist for these issues. My family keeps telling me to get a job and get over it, but I can't. Job interviews are hard on me because I get very nervous and shakey about the whole thing due to low self-esteem. I also had a recent interview with one of my "potential employers" who reamed me a new ass and said I can't get a job in the future due to my poor job record (I can't hold down a job at all, the last three jobs I had, I quit after three days (one I was fired) for various reasons). So because of shithead there, I am deathly afraid of interviews and jobs in general. I am so messed up ever since dad died that I think the darkest of thoughts at times just to get out.
Argh. Sorry for going all personal, but I needed to vent out whatever was clouding my mind this morning.
I am trying to make a living off my art because art is my passion and it's less stressful considering I'd be using Patreon to make a living. Maybe some day soon I can make enough to be with my love in Arkansas. I need $2500 a month though. >_<
My family is really rude. I have anxiety and depression disorders that are real bad and I am seeing a therapist for these issues. My family keeps telling me to get a job and get over it, but I can't. Job interviews are hard on me because I get very nervous and shakey about the whole thing due to low self-esteem. I also had a recent interview with one of my "potential employers" who reamed me a new ass and said I can't get a job in the future due to my poor job record (I can't hold down a job at all, the last three jobs I had, I quit after three days (one I was fired) for various reasons). So because of shithead there, I am deathly afraid of interviews and jobs in general. I am so messed up ever since dad died that I think the darkest of thoughts at times just to get out.
Argh. Sorry for going all personal, but I needed to vent out whatever was clouding my mind this morning.
I am trying to make a living off my art because art is my passion and it's less stressful considering I'd be using Patreon to make a living. Maybe some day soon I can make enough to be with my love in Arkansas. I need $2500 a month though. >_<
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